1. CEO Says Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At A Worse Time For Company

    A tragic scene in Virginia as a gunman opened fire at the offices of SlashForward Marketing. Managers described the timing of the shooting as “incredibly inopportune” as the company is already struggling to meet its Q3 sales goals.

Episodes

  1. 1:19
    Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket [1:19]
  2. 1:24
    Scientists Teach Father To Communicate Emotions Using Rudimentary Hand Gestures [1:24]
  3. 2:07
    Should Companies Discontinue Unpaid Intern Fights? [2:07]
  4. 2:07
    CEO Says Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At A Worse Time For Company [2:07]
  1. 1:28
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  2. 2:06
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  3. 1:15
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  4. 1:54
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  1. 2:14
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  2. 1:12
    Deadly Super Rainbow Tears Through West Coast [1:12]
  3. 1:17
    Meat Prices Skyrocket After Cow Smashing Machine Gets All Beefed Up [1:17]
  4. 1:33
    Beard Husks On Sidewalk Indicate Start Of Hipster Molting Season [1:33]
  1. 1:35
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  2. 1:58
    Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head-Ripping-Off Machine [1:58]
  3. 2:37
    Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them? [2:37]
  4. 1:04
    Nation Successfully Completes Mother’s Day By 9:18 A.M. [1:04]
  1. 1:24
    NASA Discovers This Planet, Planet Earth, Just Might Be What It’s Been Searching For All Along [1:24]
  2. 1:36
    Hurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo [1:36]
  3. 1:53
    Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys [1:53]
  4. 1:41
    George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere [1:41]
  1. 1:57
    Michelle Obama Introduces Exercise Program To Combat Obesity In Professional Baseball Players [1:57]
  2. 5:03
    Boston Mayor Throws Out First Punch At St. Patrick’s Day Parade [5:03]
  3. 1:24
    Report: Leading Cause Of Death In U.S. Is God Needing Another Angel [1:24]
  4. 1:30
    Southwest Airlines Rolls Out New ‘Loyalty Goes Both Ways’ Campaign [1:30]
  1. 1:25
    New Marijuana Study Says Everyone Knows You're High And You'll Likely Be Stoned Forever [1:25]
  2. 1:19
    Netflix Introduces New ‘Browse Endlessly’ Plan [1:19]
  3. 2:47
    Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Fuck Each Other [2:47]
  4. 2:24
    Nation’s Parents Release Annual Ranking Of Top 50 ‘Perfectly Good’ State Schools [2:24]
  1. 3:12
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  2. 1:25
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  3. 1:00
    BREAKING: Dogs Running [1:00]
  4. 1:27
    BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash [1:27]
  1. 2:10
    Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation [2:10]
  2. 2:14
    NFL Concludes Ex-Players Taking Their Own Lives Because 'They Miss Football So Much' [2:14]
  3. 2:29
    Bloomberg Defends NYPD’s Controversial Stop And Kiss Program [2:29]
  4. 1:42
    FAA Issues Holiday Reminder That Planes Can Crash And Kill You [1:42]
  1. 1:55
    The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn [1:55]
  2. 2:00
    Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap" [2:00]
  3. 2:30
    Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch [2:30]
  4. 2:29
    Google Shuts Down Gmail For Two Hours To Show Its Immense Power [2:29]
  1. 2:38
    Police: Kidnapped MoveOn.org Staffer's "Please Help" Emails Went Completely Ignored [2:38]
  2. 2:34
    Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship [2:34]
  3. 2:53
    In The Know Panel Analyzes Obama's Furious, Profanity-Filled Rant At Nation [2:53]
  4. 3:09
    Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized [3:09]
  1. 2:35
    Surgeon General: Smoking Fine As Long As You Only Do It When You Drink [2:35]
  2. 0:12
    Video From Inside Congressional Hostage Situation [0:12]
  3. 1:56
    Social Security Reform Bill Encourages Americans To Live Faster, Die Younger [1:56]
  4. 2:45
    Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate? [2:45]
  1. 3:40
    Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality A Necessity On Cold Mountaintops [3:40]
  2. 1:57
    'Green Lantern' To Fulfill America's Wish To See Lantern-Based Characters On Big Screen [1:57]
  3. 2:45
    Final Minutes Of Last Harry Potter Movie To Be Split Into Seven Separate Films [2:45]
  4. 2:37
    Hostages Trapped Inside Walmart Insisting They Never Shop At Walmart [2:37]
  1. 2:25
    Obama Befriends Rich Elderly Widow In Hopes She'll Put Nation In Her Will [2:25]
  2. 2:12
    Excitement Growing Among Beatles Fans For Paul McCartney's Funeral [2:12]
  3. 2:02
    Obama Outlines Moral, Philosophical Justifications For Turkey Pardon [2:02]
  4. 2:33
    Joad Cressbeckler Fears Genetic Modification Causes 'Wrath-Minded Taters' [2:33]
  1. 2:31
    Social Security Scam Robs Elderly By Convincing Them They Are Dead [2:31]
  2. 1:53
    Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister [1:53]
  3. 2:00
    Study: Americans Get Majority Of Exercise While Drunk [2:00]
  4. 2:52
    Justin Bieber Found To Be Cleverly Disguised 51-Year-Old Pedophile [2:52]
  1. 2:46
    Joad Cressbeckler: NASA Honeyfuggling America With Nonsense Space Dreams [2:46]
  2. 1:57
    Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve [1:57]
  3. 2:21
    Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer [2:21]
  4. 1:53
    TIME Announces New Version Of Magazine Aimed At Adults [1:53]
  1. 2:18
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  2. 3:12
    Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author [3:12]
  3. 1:53
    USDA Recalls 96,000 Pounds Of Tainted Beef From One Family [1:53]
  4. 2:19
    Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers [2:19]
  1. 2:20
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  2. 3:56
    Semi-Literate Former Gold Prospector Given Own Cable News Show [3:56]
  3. 2:06
    Drew Barrymore's New Tell-All Coloring Book Hits Shelves [2:06]
  4. 2:25
    'Iron Man 2' Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face [2:25]
  1. 2:11
    Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations [2:11]
  2. 2:29
    Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday [2:29]
  3. 2:10
    Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals [2:10]
  4. 2:01
    Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere [2:01]
  1. 2:29
    Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech [2:29]
  2. 2:33
    Denmark Introduces Harrowing New Tourism Ads Directed By Lars Von Trier [2:33]
  3. 2:41
    New Law Would Ban Marriages Between People Who Don't Love Each Other [2:41]
  4. 3:00
    Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her [3:00]
  1. 2:49
    Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever [2:49]
  2. 1:56
    Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads [1:56]
  3. 1:24
    Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen [1:24]
  4. 2:13
    VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill [2:13]
  1. 1:45
    DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico [1:45]
  2. 2:13
    Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP [2:13]
  3. 2:38
    Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner [2:38]
  4. 1:50
    Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck [1:50]
  1. 2:46
    Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire [2:46]
  2. 3:04
    Crime Reporter Finds Way Of Linking Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act [3:04]
  3. 2:28
    U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan [2:28]
  4. 1:44
    Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate [1:44]
  1. 2:49
    Ominous Music Heard Throughout U.S. Sends Nation Into Panic [2:49]
  2. 2:29
    White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase [2:29]
  3. 2:18
    Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women [2:18]
  4. 2:29
    U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt [2:29]
  1. 2:05
    Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon [2:05]
  2. 1:43
    Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out U.S. Assholes [1:43]
  3. 2:13
    Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker [2:13]
  4. 2:31
    U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com [2:31]
  1. 2:46
    Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's [2:46]
  2. 2:25
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  3. 4:16
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  4. 2:47
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  1. 2:21
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  2. 2:01
    Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions [2:01]
  3. 2:26
    More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas [2:26]
  4. 2:11
    China Celebrates Its Status As World’s Number One Air Polluter [2:11]
  1. 2:15
    Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs [2:15]
  2. 2:06
    DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack [2:06]
  3. 2:25
    Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport [2:25]
  4. 2:41
    China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is [2:41]
  1. 2:10
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  2. 2:09
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  3. 2:05
    Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby [2:05]
  4. 3:47
    Spam Crackdown Threatens Koy4Goff's Penis Enlarger, Free iPod Industry [3:47]
  1. 2:18
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  2. 2:06
    FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful [2:06]
  3. 2:24
    Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea [2:24]
  4. 3:28
    Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size [3:28]
  1. 2:33
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  2. 2:17
    Weather Channel Accused of Pro-Weather Bias [2:17]
  3. 1:54
    Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle [1:54]
  4. 2:27
    New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go [2:27]
  1. 1:42
    In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume [1:42]
  2. 3:44
    Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman [3:44]
  3. 2:35
    Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine [2:35]
  4. 2:58
    First Openly Gay Racehorse To Compete Sunday [2:58]
  1. 2:17
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  2. 2:13
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  3. 2:41
    Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse [2:41]
  4. 2:11
    Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South [2:11]
  1. 1:44
    Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition [1:44]
  2. 1:37
    Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever [1:37]
  3. 1:48
    Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Mission [1:48]
  4. 2:23
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  1. 1:38
    Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat [1:38]
  2. 1:22
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  3. 2:30
    Volatile India-Pakistan Standoff Enters 11,680th Day [2:30]
  4. 2:27
    Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013 [2:27]
  1. 3:01
    Supreme Court Rules Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' [3:01]
  2. 1:43
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  3. 1:49
    High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds [1:49]
  4. 1:26
    Genetic Scientists Develop Sheep With Brain Of A Goat [1:26]
  1. 1:54
    New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less [1:54]
  2. 3:07
    Reporter In Helicopter Pretty Sure Landslide Down There Somewhere [3:07]
  3. 2:03
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  4. 2:07
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  1. 1:17
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  2. 2:42
    Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film [2:42]
  3. 1:37
    Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times [1:37]
  4. 2:13
    Plight Of Missing Hikers Will Make Great Movie [2:13]
  1. 2:54
    9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says [2:54]
  2. 1:21
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  3. 1:19
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  4. 1:22
    New Auto Security System Will Not Allow Car To Start If Driver Is Nick Nolte [1:22]
  1. 2:11
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  2. 1:53
    Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently [1:53]
  3. 2:34
    Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot [2:34]
  4. 2:17
    Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance [2:17]
  1. 2:16
    Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers [2:16]
  2. 2:32
    Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters [2:32]
  3. 0:44
    Condoleezza Rice To Voyage East [0:44]
  4. 2:17
    Controversial Tell-All Book Reveals Wrestling Fans Are Fake [2:17]
  1. 2:15
    Queen Elizabeth II Will Leave Behind Long Legacy Of Waving [2:15]
  2. 2:09
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  3. 1:39
    Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor [1:39]
  4. 2:37
    Reporters Expose Airport Security Lapses By Blowing Up Plane [2:37]
  1. 1:48
    Report: Nation’s Wealthy Cruelly Deprived Of True Meaning Of Christmas [1:48]
  2. 2:29
    Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With [2:29]
  3. 1:09
    Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport [1:09]
  4. 1:12
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  2. 1:00
    Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again [1:00]
  3. 2:39
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  4. 2:39
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  1. 1:53
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  2. 2:20
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  3. 2:07
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  1. 1:37
    'Students First In Line' Program To Offer Job Training At Needy Schools [1:37]
  2. 2:54
    Missing Girl Probably Raped [2:54]
  3. 1:27
    Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead [1:27]
  4. 2:10
    World's Oldest Neurosurgeon Turns 100 [2:10]
  1. 1:50
    'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General [1:50]
  2. 1:07
    Human Head Found In Hamburger [1:07]
  3. 1:44
    Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims [1:44]
  4. 1:52
    TIME Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans [1:52]
  1. 1:07
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  2. 3:00
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  3. 1:21
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  4. 1:21
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  1. 0:56
    Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb [0:56]
  2. 0:59
    Study: Alzheimer’s Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer’s [0:59]
  3. 1:54
    J.K. Rowling Hints At Harry Potter Date Rape [1:54]
  4. 2:01
    Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays [2:01]
  1. 1:30
    Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line [1:30]
  2. 1:28
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