1. Obama Issues Presidential Pardon To Get Biden Out Of Jail For Third Time This Year

    The President was forced to exercise his clemency powers to free Joe Biden last week after the Vice President called the White House at 3 AM from a prison pay phone.


  1. 5:08
    Jock Scientists Discover Gay Gene In Carl [5:08]
  2. 4:02
    Jared Leto Thanks Acting For Being An Easy Thing That Anybody Can Do [4:02]
  3. 3:08
    Sochi’s Euthanized Dogs To Be Returned To Streets After Olympics [3:08]
  4. 1:06
    Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts' [1:06]
  1. 1:11
    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands [1:11]
  2. 5:08
    Obama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones [5:08]
  3. 1:03
    Jessica Simpson Goes On Tour To Promote The Novel She Read [1:03]
  4. 3:05
    Physicists Confirm They Have Found And Killed The 'God Particle' [3:05]
  1. 4:03
    Ten Years Later, Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War [4:03]
  2. 5:02
    Paul Ryan's Unsettling Budget Plan Reveals He Cuts His Own Hair [5:02]
  3. 4:05
    Pope Francis Resigns [4:05]
  4. 1:08
    James Holmes’ Arraignment Delayed As Court Struggles To Remember Which Mass Shooter He Is [1:08]
  1. 5:06
    Shady New Wendy's Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions Asked [5:06]
  2. 1:15
    Obama Issues Presidential Pardon To Get Biden Out Of Jail For Third Time This Year [1:15]
  3. 5:05
    Romney Blames Loss On Successfully Communicating His Message To Minorities  [5:05]
  4. 1:15
    Girls Gone Wild Bankruptcy Forces Thousands Of Wet, Wild Party Girls Into Tough Job Market [1:15]
  1. 3:01
    God: At Times It Felt Like The Pope Had One Foot Out The Door [3:01]
  2. 5:06
    Transportation Secretary LaHood Hoarding Traffic Cones, Stop Signs In Advance Of Looming Sequester [5:06]
  3. 1:20
    Winter Storm Rocky Expected To Hit Kevin Hodges Of Joliet, IL Hardest After The Year He's Had [1:20]
  4. 1:35
    Oscars Fashion Report: Ben Affleck Looked More Handsome Than Ever, Wrapped In A Stylish George Clooney [1:35]
  1. 3:05
    Somber Red Carpet Moment As 'In Memoriam' Coffins Wheeled Into The Auditorium [3:05]
  2. 4:09
    Johnny Depp Now Completely Made Of Scarves And Bracelets [4:09]
  3. 1:08
    Republicans Reach Out To Women With New 'No Punch Pretty Lady' Bill [1:08]
  4. 4:07
    Burger King Twitter Hack Forces Its 110,000 Followers To Survive Without Constant Stream Of Burger King Information [4:07]
  1. 1:03
    Study Reveals Conditions In Women's Prisons Deplorably Unsexy [1:03]
  2. 0:44
    Santana And Rob Thomas' 'Smooth' Sweeps Grammy Awards For 13th Year In A Row [0:44]
  3. 1:20
    Reclusive 'Terrence Malick Of The Beltway' To Release First New Law In 20 Years   [1:20]
  4. 1:18
    Top Chef Contestants Forced To Prepare Entire Meal Out Of 2013 Toyota Avalon [1:18]
  1. 0:54
    New Orleans Police Struggle To Contain Rioting Ray Lewis After Ravens' Super Bowl Victory [0:54]
  2. 1:03
    Taylor Swift Releases New Breakup Song Slamming Winner Of 'Win A Date With Taylor Swift' Contest [1:03]
  3. 1:01
    Health Officials Urging Americans To Do Something, Anything For 30 Minutes A Day [1:01]
  4. 0:51
    New Miss America In Danger Of Losing Crown After Officials Uncover Details From Her Sordid Future [0:51]
  1. 0:47
    Huffington Post Completes 63 Million Page 'Where Are They Now' Slideshow Of Every Celebrity Ever [0:47]
  2. 0:45
    Hoaxed Linebacker Manti Te'o Now Dating 'Scarlett Johansson's Head On Jenny McCarthy's Body' [0:45]
  3. 1:11
    Armstrong Admits Drug Use, Plans Return To Cycling As Flamboyant, Fan-Hating Villain [1:11]
  4. 1:08
    NRA Fights Legislation That Would Ban Gun Sales To Those Currently On Killing Sprees [1:08]
  1. 1:08
    Jodie Foster Inspires Teens To Come Out Using Vague, Rambling Riddles  [1:08]
  2. 1:14
    Ten Percent Of U.S. High School Students Graduating Without Basic Object Permanence Skills [1:14]
  3. 1:36
    Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In 'Les Misérables' [1:36]
  4. 1:07
    Psychiatrists Warn Nation's Used Car Salesmen Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away [1:07]
  1. 1:12
    Modern-Day Robin Hood Just Sleeping In Woods, Shooting Rich People With Arrows [1:12]
  2. 1:10
    Scientists Debut Robot That Can Run A Half-Marathon, Smugly Brag About It [1:10]
  3. 1:10
    Mayan Word For 'Apocalypse' Actually Translates More Accurately As 'Time Of Pale Obese Gun Monsters' [1:10]
  4. 0:49
    SNL Hosting Gig Caps Breakout Year For Navy's SEAL Team Six [0:49]
  1. 0:00
    New iPhone Geared Towards College-Aged Girls Comes With Pre-Shattered Screen [0:00]
  2. 1:09
    In Wake Of Tragedy, Americans Demand Reform Of Everything, Anything [1:09]
  3. 1:07
    Peter Jackson's 'The Hobbit' Stays Faithful To Original Book, Denny's Menu [1:07]
  4. 0:56
    GOP: We'll Accept Higher Taxes If President Obama Gives Us His Dog [0:56]
  1. 1:13
    Pope Reaches Out To Catholic Youth By Joining Twitter, Giving Up On Catholicism [1:13]
  2. 0:57
    NASA: Water On Mercury Proves Planet Could Support Intergalactic Space Prison [0:57]
  3. 1:03
    CVS Poised To Be Nation's Top Seller Of Shitty Office Party Gifts For Your Coworkers [1:03]
  4. 0:57
    Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists [0:57]
  1. 1:13
    Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography [1:13]
  2. 0:48
    Shocking Report Says Even The Smallest Horse Bite Can Be Harmful To Newborn Babies [0:48]
  3. 0:55
    'Boy Meets World' Spin-Off A Dream Come True For Fans Who Grew Up In, Still Live In '90s [0:55]
  4. 0:53
    UPDATE: Powerball Execs Find Missing Powerballs [0:53]
  1. 1:15
    Powerball Officials Admit They Lost All The Balls [1:15]
  2. 1:06
    Recession-Proof Jobs Include Any In Which You Witness Your Boss Kill Someone [1:06]
  3. 1:12
    Turkey Pardon Mishap Results In Accidental Release Of Serial Rapist [1:12]
  4. 1:20
    Romney Spends $600 Million On Top-Tier 'Soul Searching' Team [1:20]
  1. 1:14
    Obama: 'Second Term Will Be Like Breaking Bad Times Homeland Plus The Sopranos' [1:14]
  2. 1:04
    Conservative Megadonors Have Spent Week Yelling At Their Money [1:04]
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